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IN THIS WEEK'S ISSUE:
"Front Porch Chat from Shellie"
"Chuckles" Southern joke of the week
"A Taste of the South" Southern recipe of the week
"It's Been Said..." Southern Quote of the week
"Southern Comfort" Inspiration from my heart to yours
"A Southern Exchange" Readers Write In

Email Shellie

"How to Train a Bubba"

Hello folks, I'm sliding in from a weekend convention in Mobile, Alabama. It was a lot of fun and I met some very interesting authors and book industry type folk, but I think we'll save that for Friday's talk show on FOX FM 92.7. Right now, I hope you'll kick back and get comfortable. It's time to chat...~smile~

Remember when I mentioned that I was outlining my next book, “How to Train a Bubba”, and other Self Help Secrets from a Southern Belle? Well, I was flat caught off guard by the volume of feedback. Because so many of y’all seem to be at critical development points with your Bubba, I’ve decided to offer an advance peek.

Girls, it’s impossible to begin training your Bubba too early. It’s actually recommended that you conduct a few tests with any potential Bubba before taking ownership. One way to do this is to see how he responds to your people. If your Bubba demonstrates curiously high levels of anxiety, there could be a problem with his breeding, or he could’ve been subjected to previous experiences that will make him hard, if not impossible, to train.

There are other pre-ownership tests, but for brevity’s sake, let’s say you’ve chosen your Bubba, filled out all the necessary papers, and brought him home. From this point on, you must be consistent with your training. Inconsistency is unfair and confusing to your Bubba. He needs to know you’re a woman of your word.

By way of illustration, once during the early years of their marriage, my Aunt Marleta and Uncle Stan were in a huge fight when he announced that he was leaving.

“Don’t do it!” Aunt Leta said. “If you walk out that door, I’m not letting you back in.”

Unlce Stan left anyway and in such a hurry that he crashed his pickup between two trees a little piece down the road. Limping, bruised, and bleeding Uncle Stan made his way back home to the wrong side of a chained door.

“Let me in, Leta,” Uncle Stan said, “I’m bleeding.”

“That’s not my fault,” Aunt Marleta said. “I told you what’d happen if you left!”

Aunt Marleta left her Bubba outside bleeding for the better part of the night, too, and as she likes to tell it, “Once I opened that door, Shellie, he never left me again.” You can't mess with those kinds of results, girls.

I hope y'all enjoy this week's southern celebration. I'll be around if you want to drop me a note on the porch...

Hugs,
Shellie

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Slow down and experience life the way it should be with a timeshares for sale in one of the Southern states. Once you buy timeshares here, you'll fall in love with the charm and the genteel manner evident everywhere you go. Let the warm weather and southern hospitality become your solace in this hurried world.

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"Surprise Guest on All Things Southern LIVE this Friday!" The last couple weeks I've been talking about a new development on the porch. Tune in this Friday for the unveiling! Remember, ATS LIVE is streaming. You can also hear old shows, and/or get the podcasts delivered to your Itunes. http://www.foxfm927.com/shows.php?id=12. If you'd like a Thursday evening reminder about the show, subscribe to the ATS Sticky Note at the website. That call in number is 318-323-8886 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



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